How to Argue Better

Arguing can be one of the most exciting and frustrating things to do.  The excitement comes from the adrenaline flowing and the frustration comes from...well, the argument!People argue because they are trying to get their point across.  Both parties feel they are right.  And when one person feels they are not being heard or taken seriously they may start to yell or become quiet and start to give the cold shoulder to the other person.  Sometimes a person will play games, they will pretend everything is cool with you but they will get back at you slowly through little things.

Boredom can cause people to argue.  If one person feels the relationship is in a rut they may start to pick little fights over silly stuff.  This mainly happens when one person is kind of meek and doesn't usually disagree with the other.  For whatever reason the non confrontational person thinks this will help keep things together but it may make things fall apart.

Some arguments start because one person is trying to divert attention away from a bigger issue so they focus on something small and not too important.  But they will make it seem way bigger than it really is.

For the most part I think that some arguing is healthy and necessary.  A good argument will actually bring you closer together if handled in the right way.  Here are some tips on how to argue better:

• Fight fair.  Sometimes when in an argument people will use personal information told to them in confidence against the person they are arguing with.  This is only a good idea if you don't want to have a lasting relationship with this person. Don't make personal attacks during an argument.  That is really a weak strategy.

• Stick to the issues.  When having an argument try your very best not to start rambling on about other stuff that has absolutely nothing to do with the situation you are actively discussing.  Stay focused.  People usually start to get sidetracked when they are losing or they have buried issues they never talked about before.  Which brings me to the next tip.

• Don't bring up old stuff.  Bringing old issues into a new argument is not fair and its just plain irritating.  Its best to work on dealing with issues when they come up so you don't keep digging in the past.  Also,  you need to let things go and forgive. If you have forgiven something then you won't keep bringing it back up and throwing it in your partner's face.